


Lady Olympia

by baroque_mongoose



Category: Girl Genius
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 21:18:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3264686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baroque_mongoose/pseuds/baroque_mongoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maxim's Jäger troop finds a runaway teenage girl in no-man's-land and brings her to safety; but she speaks only English, so Mr Wooster has to help to restore her to the aunt with whom she is travelling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lady Olympia

Many wild things roamed in the snowbound no-man's-land around Mechanicsburg; but all of them, even Martellus von Blitzengaard's wolf packs, knew from bitter experience not to trouble the Jägers. There were about a dozen of them now, travelling at ease, with Maxim at their head on a fine black mare. Some of the others were also mounted, but those on foot were keeping up easily enough, and there were a few horses without riders; these were loaded with supplies and mail for those in the caves.

One of the group spurred his horse level with Maxim's. “Hey, Maxim,” he said. “Look. Over dere.”

Maxim looked in the direction the Jäger was indicating. There was something mauve at the foot of a large tree on the hillside a little way above them; it looked like a scrap of fabric. He nodded, and signalled the troop to stop. Then he turned his horse, rode up to the tree, and dismounted, landing softly in the snow.

“Vell,” he said, “vot ve got here, den?”

There was a pause. The tree was hollow, and the mauve fabric was trailing out a little way from the bottom of a wide crack at the foot of the trunk. Maxim picked up the edge of the fabric and gave it an experimental tug.

There was a scream from inside the tree which rang out and echoed across the valley.

“Hey,” said Maxim. “Calm down. Hy iz not goink to hurt hyu.”

The person inside the tree started talking, but Maxim could not understand a word. “Schtop,” he said. “Hy dun speak der langvuage. But if hyu come out, hy know vhere dere iz zumvun who can translate.” And that, he thought, was a safe bet no matter what the language was; he had yet to discover a language that stumped Mr Wooster.

The response from inside the tree was to start talking very loudly and slowly in the same language. “Vot der dumboozle?” said Maxim.

The situation appeared to have reached an impasse. Not knowing quite what else to do, Maxim gave the fabric another tug; this resulted in the owner of the fabric ducking out of the tree through the crack at some speed, apparently in terror that he might tear it.

“Goot,” said Maxim. “Here. Hyu come vit me.” He politely offered an arm.

She was no more than a girl, aged perhaps fourteen or fifteen, wearing a good heavy woollen coat over her mauve dress, together with a fur hat and stole. She took one look at Maxim, let out another scream, and took flight. Maxim caught up easily, striding after her on his long legs.

“Hy said hy vosn't goink to hurt hyu,” he remonstrated, picking her up and slinging her inelegantly but not ungently over his shoulder. “Iz not safe out here. Hyu much safer vit us.”

He lifted her up onto the horse, jumped up behind her, and rode back to the others. She was still screaming when he reached them.

“She got a goot pair of lungs,” observed one of the troop.

“Ja,” another of them agreed. “Hey, Maxim, vot vent wrong? Hyu supposed to be der vun vot can charm all de ladies.”

There was general laughter, which did nothing to reassure the girl. “She dun speak our langvage,” Maxim explained. “Hy goink to take her to Mister Vooster.”

The girl finally calmed down a little once she realised that nobody was actually trying to hurt her, and so the journey back to the caves was reasonably quiet. Maxim, as usual, reported to Dimo on their return.

“Ve found dis girl hidink in a tree,” he said. “But ve goink to need Mister Vooster to translate.”

Dimo nodded. “Hy tink hy vant to know who she iz und vot she iz doink round here.” He called one of the other Jägers. “Seppi! Go und get Mister Vooster, if he iz free. Und if not, find out vhen he vill be.”

Seppi hurried off. “Anyting else hy need to know?” asked Dimo.

Maxim shook his head. “Notting, really. Vos very qviet. Efferyvun knows to leave us alone.”

“Ja,” said Dimo, a little regretfully. “Iz gettink borink. Vos much more fun vhen de volves used to try attackink us.”

“Goot times,” said Maxim wistfully. “Schtill, hy tink efferyvun in de caves has got a volfskin rug by now.”

The girl was cringing. She clearly did not like the look of Dimo. Maxim was blithely oblivious, but Dimo himself noticed.

“Hey,” he said, gently. “Iz all right. Hy iz not goink to bite hyu.”

“She dun understand,” said Maxim.

“She can hear der tone of voice,” Dimo pointed out.

“Hyu tink ve ought to get her zumting to eat?” asked Maxim. “Ve dun know how long she been out dere.”

“Ja, but ve vait for Mister Vooster,” Dimo decided, “unless he iz busy. Den he can ask her vot she vants to eat.”

Fortunately, Seppi returned within a few minutes, with Mr Wooster in tow. “Ah, Dimo,” said Mr Wooster. “You wanted me?”

“Ja,” said Dimo, as Seppi left. “Maxim und zum of de boys found dis girl, but ve got vot hyu might call a langvage problem.”

“You're human!” the girl exclaimed suddenly, in English. “Do you speak English?”

Mr Wooster bowed. “Certainly I do. I am English myself. My name is Wooster.”

“Thank goodness for that! I am Lady Olympia Datchett.”

Mr Wooster translated swiftly for the benefit of the Jägers. “Tell her hy iz sorry about cartink her off like dat,” said Maxim, “but hy could not make her understand iz not safe out dere. Und also, vot vould she like to eat?”

“I knew it wasn't safe,” said Lady Olympia. “That's why I was hiding in the tree.” She shuddered. “It's been ghastly, Mr Wooster. Ever since I ran away, I've had to hide from... well, everyone.”

“Well, yes, you would, I'm afraid,” replied Mr Wooster. “There is a war going on out there. Indeed, you might perhaps more usefully think of it as several concurrent wars. You were really very lucky the Jägers found you; this is the safest place anywhere near here. And, ah, is there anything in particular you would like to eat?”

“That's very kind,” she said, brightening. “Anything, really. I'm awfully hungry.”

“Maxim,” said Dimo, “go und get de younk lady zum food.”

Maxim obligingly departed. “Now,” said Mr Wooster. “You say you ran away.”

“That's right. I was doing the usual grand tour with my aunt, as one does, and I met a young officer, and we fell in love. But my aunt found out, and she forbade me to see him because he's not a gentleman. Isn't an army officer just as good?”

“I am not a gentleman either, so I will admit a certain bias here,” replied Mr Wooster; “but I should say that a good man is a good man, regardless of the circumstances of his birth.”

“Vot hyu mean, hyu not a yentleman?” asked Dimo, bewildered. “Vot else iz hyu?”

“If I were a gentleman, Dimo, I wouldn't be here working for my living,” Mr Wooster explained.

“Ja,” said Dimo, “but hyu got more manners dan a lot of pipple dat calls demselves yentlemen.”

“Well, that's very kind of you to say, Dimo,” replied Mr Wooster, “but, be that as it may, we are allowing ourselves to be diverted. So, you ran away, Lady Olympia?”

“Yes, we were going to elope. I know I'm a little young to get married, but there are places where it's legal. But he wasn't where we had arranged to meet, and when I went to look for him, I found his regiment had moved on. I heard they went this way, so I tried to follow.”

Mr Wooster sighed. “Some new shift in alliances, no doubt. I keep myself as well informed as I can about exactly who is currently fighting whom, and, even though I have regular news from the Jägers, I still find it very difficult to keep track. Which regiment was it?”

“The name means Bear Guards in English,” Lady Olympia replied.

“I know the one you mean. Wulfenbach troops, yes?”

She nodded.

“Do you know anything of the Bärwachen, Dimo?” asked Mr Wooster.

“Ja, dey passed near here two days ago,” replied Dimo. “Dey vos goink south. Looked like dey vos in a hurry.”

“That's not good news, I'm afraid,” said Mr Wooster. “You're now at least two days behind them, Lady Olympia, and I think you already know you're not likely to catch them up on your own.”

“I can try, Mr Wooster,” she said, defiantly. “After all, they can't keep marching for ever. They must stop somewhere.”

“Probably on a battlefield,” replied Mr Wooster. “They are a regiment.”

“But what else do I do?” she wailed. “I can't go back to my aunt now. I don't even know where she is, and if I did it would be too dangerous. There are... wolves and things out there.”

“Worse than wolves, I'm afraid,” said Mr Wooster grimly. “Those are more than just wolves, and if you saw them, you were remarkably lucky they didn't see you. Put it this way: I wouldn't want to tangle with one.”

“Und Mister Vooster vill tangle vit qvite a lot of dangerous tings,” Dimo added.

Maxim returned with a large platter of rye bread, cheese, cold meats, pickles and fruit. “Dere hyu go,” he said cheerfully, setting it down in front of Lady Olympia.

“Thank you,” she replied, a little uncertainly.

“That's rye bread,” Mr Wooster explained. “It's what we generally have round here. You'll find it's very tasty and filling.”

“Oh! I've never seen it before. I didn't know bread could be that colour.”

He smiled. “I like it a lot better than ordinary white bread. It has more flavour. Try it with the cheese; I think you'll find they go together especially well.”

She did so. “It's a strange flavour... but it is quite pleasant,” she said. “And I really am hungry.”

“When did you last eat?” asked Mr Wooster.

“Yesterday,” she admitted. “I bought some food in a village. I should have bought more, because I didn't realise there weren't any more villages out here.”

“No, iz no villages. Yust us,” replied Dimo. “ _Vos_ villages, but dey iz all flattened or burnt. Iz crezzy round here.”

“Mr Wooster,” said Lady Olympia plaintively, “what am I going to do?”

“I think,” he replied, “we need to find your aunt. I can't leave you to go running around in the snow on your own; you've survived so far by sheer luck, but turning you out of here would be tantamount to murder. Where was she when you left her?”

“Grauburg. But... she'll be furious!”

“Yes, I expect she will; but she'll be even more relieved to see you safe and sound,” replied Mr Wooster, practically. “Dimo, I'm going to ask you to make an exception. I know you don't normally like me leaving the caves, not even with a company of Jägers, but I'm going to be needed to help Lady Olympia find her aunt.”

“Hyu vant Maxim to take hyu to Grauburg?” asked Dimo.

Mr Wooster nodded. “Yes, please. With whatever escort will set your mind at rest. But I think it really does have to be me. I speak English, and... well, I'm human. Lady Olympia clearly isn't used to Jägers, and so I very much doubt that her aunt is.”

Dimo considered. “Vell. Hokay. Iz qvite a vay from here, zo hyu can go tomorrow morning.” He looked at Maxim. “Hyu look after heem goot, hokay?”

“Hyu bet,” said Maxim. “If anyvun tries to bother Mister Vooster, hy make a rug out of dem.”

There were twenty Jägers in the troop that set out the following morning. Maxim, once again, was in charge, and Lady Olympia rode in front of him. Mr Wooster was also riding, since he did not have the endurance of a Jäger on foot. It had been Dimo's decision to put Lady Olympia on Maxim's horse rather than Mr Wooster's.

“If hyu do get any trouble,” he explained, “Maxim is very strong. He vill see to it hyu dun fall off der horse. Mister Vooster iz pretty strong for a human, but he iz not a Jäger.”

“Dimo's quite right,” said Mr Wooster. “Maxim is strong enough to lift the horse off the ground with you sitting on it, and not really be exerting himself. You need have no fear.”

But they had no trouble, and they reached Grauburg in the early afternoon. Lady Olympia showed them to the hotel where she had been staying with her aunt, and the Jägers waited outside while Mr Wooster went in with her.

Lady Olympia walked up to the reception desk. “Is my aunt still staying here?” she asked. “Lady Amelia Datchett?”

“Yes, she is still here,” replied the receptionist, in careful English. “But she is not in at the moment. She is...”

The doors opened. “Olympia!”

Mr Wooster turned. The lady in the doorway was probably no more than forty, but she was nonetheless the perfect image of the elderly, respectable English dowager, right down to the lorgnette. She wore a very sensible dark red walking skirt and a matching jacket with gigot sleeves.

“Ah,” he said. “You must be Lady Amelia Datchett. Ardsley Wooster, at your service.” He bowed.

Lady Amelia examined him through her lorgnette. “And who, exactly, are you, Mr Wooster?”

“I'm attached to the British Diplomatic Corps,” he replied. It was true, so far as it went; the Intelligence Service was under the aegis of the Diplomatic Corps. “Some friends of mine found your niece and brought her to me because I'm able to interpret. As you see, she's unharmed.”

“Mr Wooster has been very kind, aunt,” said Lady Olympia. “And so have the Jägers. They look frightening, but they treated me very well.”

“The Jägers?” Lady Amelia demanded. “Am I to understand, Mr Wooster, that you have been allowing my niece to keep company with Jägers?”

Mr Wooster raised an eyebrow. “My lady,” he said, “the Jägers found your niece, rescued her from a potentially very dangerous situation, took her in, fed her when she was hungry, and gave her a warm bed for the night. Would you rather she had spent the night out in the snow with no food, and wolves and worse prowling around?”

“Don't be impertinent, young man,” said Lady Amelia. “As for you, Olympia, I very much hope you have learnt your lesson. You will go to your room.”

“Is that all you can say, my lady?” Mr Wooster demanded. “After she has been missing for some days, in the middle of a war zone? Can you not at least manage to tell her you are glad to see her again?”

“I hardly see what business that is of yours,” replied Lady Amelia frostily. “You have done your job, young man. You may go.”

“Do you have even the beginning of an idea how dangerous it is out there?” said Mr Wooster. “No. I suppose you don't. Lady Olympia didn't. She was extremely lucky. Would you like me to tell you about Martellus von Blitzengaard's wolf packs, my lady? Or perhaps you'd prefer a description of the Wulfenbach battle clanks? And those are just the major threats. We won't even talk about the ordinary bandits, mostly people chased or burnt out of their villages who have turned to robbery in order to survive.”

“I gave you permission to leave,” said Lady Amelia. “Did you not hear me? And, Olympia, why have you not gone up to your room?”

“I... I haven't a key, aunt,” Lady Olympia quavered.

“Oh, I heard you, my lady,” replied Mr Wooster. “But I'm not leaving just yet. If you will just excuse me one moment.” He went to the doors and put his head out. “Maxim? Would you mind stepping inside, please?”

Maxim obligingly walked in. Lady Amelia gave a little scream. “It's all right, aunt,” said Lady Olympia. “This is Maxim. He's very kind.”

“Precisely,” said Mr Wooster. “This is indeed Maxim. He was the one who found your niece and brought her back to a safe place. Perhaps you would like to thank him for saving her life. Have no fear; I can translate.”

“How _dare_ you bring a wild Jäger in here!” Lady Amelia spluttered.

Mr Wooster raised an eyebrow. “What an extraordinary question, my lady.”

“You... you...”

“Aunt,” said Lady Olympia, suddenly. “Mr Wooster is right. Maxim did save my life, and, not only that, he led the troop which brought us back here safely. You ought to thank him.”

“What on earth do you mean by telling me what I ought to do?” Lady Amelia demanded, now very angry.

“Vot der dumboozle iz efferyvun shoutink about, Mister Vooster?” asked Maxim. “Hy dun mind comink in here, but all dat iz happenink iz two ladies arguink in English.”

“Sorry about that, Maxim,” replied Mr Wooster. “I am trying to get Lady Amelia to recognise what you did for her niece.”

“Well, aunt,” said Lady Olympia, “you may not be grateful, but I certainly am.” And, with that, she walked straight up to Maxim, raised herself on tiptoes, and planted a kiss firmly on his cheek.

“Vot?!” said Maxim.

“Olympia!” Lady Amelia thundered.

“She's just saying thank you,” Mr Wooster explained to Maxim.

“Ho. Right. Tell her it vos a pleasure. Any time.”

“And I'm very grateful to you too, Mr Wooster,” said Lady Olympia, proceeding to give him the same treatment as Maxim. He turned slightly pink.

“Oh... really, you know, what else could I have done?” he replied. “I couldn't have just left you wandering around on your own out there.”

“That's because you're a gentleman,” said Lady Olympia.

“And at this point,” Mr Wooster observed quietly to Maxim, “I think we ought to leave before we get into a discussion on semantics. Normally I should insist that I was nothing of the sort, but I think... I think on this occasion I shall leave that statement where it is.”

“I... I beg your pardon,” said Lady Amelia, taken aback. “I'm afraid I talked to you as though you were a servant.”

“I am a servant,” replied Mr Wooster. “I'm a servant of the British Crown. And you should be apologising to your niece, not to me.” He bowed formally. “Maxim and I are leaving. I bid you good afternoon, ladies.”

On the journey back to the caves, Mr Wooster filled Maxim in on the parts of the conversation he had missed. Maxim shook his head.

“Vow,” he said. “Dot Lady Amelia, she vos a battleaxe.”

“Yes, I'm afraid so. But I'm very pleased that Lady Olympia was able to stand up to her, in the end. There is a great difference between looking after someone and suppressing them.”

“Vos dot vy hyu brought me in?” asked Maxim.

“No; I was always going to bring you in, once I had explained that it was the Jägers who rescued Lady Olympia. If there is a chance that people are going to be nervous of you, it is as well to do the talking before they actually see you.”

Maxim considered. “Hyu tink she really vos in luff vit dot officer,” he asked, “or she yust vanted to run avay from de schcary aunt?”

“She may not know that herself,” replied Mr Wooster.

“Hy suppose,” said Maxim philosophically, “even de schcary aunt iz better dan de volves.”

“Yes,” Mr Wooster agreed. “But I must confess, Maxim, that if I had fully realised what Lady Amelia was like, I'd have tried to persuade Dimo to let us go running after the Bärwachen.”

“Hyu vouldn't haff had a chance vit dot,” Maxim replied. “It vould haff meant schtayink zumvhere overnight.”

“True,” Mr Wooster admitted. “Even so, I feel sorry for Lady Olympia. At least she's safe, I suppose.”

“Hyu know, Mister Vooster,” said Maxim, “hy got a feelink she vill be all right. Her aunt may be schcary, but hyu showed her zumting she von't forget.”

“What's that?” asked Mr Wooster.

“Hyu showed her dat dere iz zumting her aunt iz scared of dat she iz not,” Maxim replied. “Me.”

“That's a very good point,” said Mr Wooster.

“Und dot kind of ting iz goot for her to know,” said Maxim.

Mr Wooster smiled. “Well, her aunt did say she hoped she'd learnt her lesson.” He paused. “She did not, after all, specify which one.”


End file.
